Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Sunday, May 04, 2008

To my sweetie n frens who are reading this..
its not about you guys..
its just me..
am just feeling tired..BLEAGH!
so just ignore my random ranting =D (below)

i've been feeling really drained lately
and it all started when jess asked me
how was sch and how was things n all with me
i told her everythings great but i'm just feeling stressed
and drained

As i thought about it i realised
that having a bf isnt easy
being in a relationship is nvr easy
it really tires me out having to say
the same darn things over n over again
it really tires me when i get home late
after spending the day out with him
after sch ends..
and with me rushing things out
just so that i have free time to spend time with him

it tires me out when i know i have to rush back home too
cuz most of the time when i hang out with him after sch
i get home late
and yet something in me doesnt allow me
to get on with my own things till he's home safe and sound
till he is gonna go to sleep
only after that do i do my stuff and by the end of it all
its so gosh darn late!
and i hav to be up in a few hrs

me feeling so tired makes me dread going to sch
attending my classes have become a drag
and i'm tired of trying to understand
the things i do not understand..

i just feel like giving up
curling up somewhere
*sighs*

with more work piling up
and with soo many problems
with every single thing..
it just really makes me tired of thinking
thinking up solutions to every darn thing
for everyone..even for myself

i just wish i could have a break from life itself
just for awhile..
with nothing to think about
nothing to worry about..
wldnt that be nice for awhile?
just a retreat..
*sighs*

i just need to breathe and take some time off for myself..
i really do..
without the constant smses or phonecalls from everyone..
without everyone needing me
without the constant nagging of my parents
at times i need to be there just for myself too..

i dont wanna wear myself out too thin..
i used to be able to do that n yet i'll be laughing about it
but now..i just cant seem to do that anymore..

i'm not saying that having a bf or
having friends who need you is a bad thing
just that its draining being there for everyone
and you know what..though its draining
its alright..it really is..
cuz at the end of it all
being in my sweetheart's arms is the best feeling in the world
and helping out my friends and seeing them smile
and being carefree feels great
so its alright..

i guess i just stretch myself thin by doing the best i can for the ones i love..
and though its tiring..its ok.. =)
i still at least have sundays for a break
but when even that day turns out busy..
i become a complain queen as seen here..
haha..
gotta go study now..toodles.. =)

please believe me again at 6:23 PM