Y
Saturday, May 24, 2008
24th mayyy!!!
TODAY IS LOVEEEE!!!!
i jus SIMPLY LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT TODAY!!
met sweetheart and went to bugis
to find a prezzie for a friend..
but cldnt get one..
nvm..i'll try getting one tmr! =)
took stoopid looking pics which were FUNNY!!
hahaha.
then..we went to meet my baby's friends..
valentine's letter and the crew and some of their friends..
i never do too well in big groups..
SHYyy! SHYyy!
wad to do? hehehe
but it still turned out to be awesome!
cuz i somehow warmed up to them by the end of the night..
YAYNESS! =)
oh..wait..lost my train of thought..hehe
oh..yeah..yeah..
the day was awesomeee!!
CUZ...VL totally rawked at tonight's performance!
woohoo!!!
AWESOMEEEE!! AWEESOMMMEEE!!! =D
actually having watched Armchair Critic play too
(which was another gig jason brought me to)
I would say that Valentines Letter is 100 times better than Armchair Critic..
well thats just my personal opinion...so dont sue me for it..hehe
and..a song was dedicated to my sweetheart and me
which was really soo darnn sweet!!
THANK YOU RAMON!
THANK YOU VL!
so damn touched lah!!
and was surprised too!
hahaha
And tonight..
though it was one of the best day/night of my life..
i somehow felt so darn sad when i had to head home..
cuz i really rEaLLY REALLy REALLY missed my baby like HELL
i SOO didnt want to leave him and head home..
honestly..it felt like as though a part of me was getting ripped apart..
i feel soo empty without him..
dont noe if its my hormones playing around with me or something..
(which i highly doubt)
but i cried just nw on my way home
and i'm tearing just typing this
thinking about him..
and how sweet he is..
and the song dedication
and just EVERYTHING
I LOVEEEEE YOUUU JASONNN!
MY SENSATION! hehehe
words really cant describe how much you mean to me!
=)
wish you were here..
my heart misses you..
wednesdayyy! come soon!
=)
please believe me again at 10:41 PM
Y
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Well these days i really have nothing much to update about
just that life is good
even when it gets downright sucky at times
and thats all cuz of my love..
i can be downright "silly"
as he puts it..
and jus plain annoying at times i guess..
hehe..
but he still bares with it all..
And he makes even my worst days into the best days
and i loveee him for that!
LOVE LOVEEEE lovEeee you JASON!! =)
i just hope asal is doing fine..
been days since i've spoken to her
i really dont think she is fine at all..
even though she may appear to be so..
*sighs*
and i hope i can really meet up with amrit soon!
and i gotta go shopping with feefa real soon too!
i need to get prezzies for my dear amrit and feefa..
but i'm broke..
its ok though.. =)
and next week wednesday..
my cute 9 yr old cuzzie has made plans with me..
she treats me like i'm her sister
and it feels weird that she looks up to me..
i guess..i never really thought about
or even knew how much i meant to that lil girl
i actually dont even think my bro looks up to me that way..
the thing is..it jus feels weird that she looks up to me..
cuz i dont think i am all that great anyway..
but i will definitely try my best to be the best i can be for her..
that sweet lil girl is always soo lonely..
being an only child with your parents not being around most of the time..
is really hard on her..
and so she has booked me during the june hols as well..
she wants me to stay over for a few days..
how sweet! =)
ahhh! i just love having a lil sister! hehe
ohoh! my classmates and i took pics the other day..
shall upload them here when i have the time..
my sweetheart and i also went to changi airport
on wednesday..
that day was filled with ups and downs
with lots of memories and first times..
lovedddd that day..
might put up pics soon.. =)
thats all for now..
ciao! =)
please believe me again at 11:27 PM
Y
Monday, May 05, 2008
my fears
they keep me awake at night sometimes
and i cant seem to fall asleep
tell me it wont ever happen
tell me everything will go back to the way they once were
recently, i had a dream
i dreamt of sweetheart!
but that dream turned from good to bad
it became a nightmare
why?
cuz..i dreamt of my dear friend amrit
she was telling me to get the hell outta her life
cuz i am never there when she needed me..
that was the worse feeling i ever felt..
i couldnt continue sleeping after that..
who would be able to?
i woke up and texted her saying i missed her
i would call her jus that i cant really talk with
the condition of my sore throat..
and the day after she replied
we chatted on msn and i told her to never feel that way
cuz i am always here for her
even though i aint literally
i'll always make time for her
and all my other friends n loves..
of course my sweetheart..
its just one of biggest fears
-someone i once knew with all my heart
changing to someone i barely know now
(it happened with my bestie and a few others but its ok.. =))
-someone i once thought i didnt really know
to spending so much time with them
and suddenly not being able to
and so them telling me that i'm not a worthy enough friend
(hasnt happened and i wish it to never happen)
-someone forgetting me cuz i wasnt there in their lifes for the longest time
and they thought i moved on without them
(this has happened in some sense..but it was all a misunderstanding
and it got cleared up =))
-neglecting someone/something without meaning to
(in some ways this has happened too..but thank god i have understanding
people around me..weee! )
of course there are many more fears that i have but..
for now..
lets just leave it at this..
i love all you people even though i may not be there all the time
for you guys..i'll try..you know i will =)
please believe me again at 9:52 AM
Y
Sunday, May 04, 2008
To my sweetie n frens who are reading this..
its not about you guys..
its just me..
am just feeling tired..BLEAGH!
so just ignore my random ranting =D (below)
i've been feeling really drained lately
and it all started when jess asked me
how was sch and how was things n all with me
i told her everythings great but i'm just feeling stressed
and drained
As i thought about it i realised
that having a bf isnt easy
being in a relationship is nvr easy
it really tires me out having to say
the same darn things over n over again
it really tires me when i get home late
after spending the day out with him
after sch ends..
and with me rushing things out
just so that i have free time to spend time with him
it tires me out when i know i have to rush back home too
cuz most of the time when i hang out with him after sch
i get home late
and yet something in me doesnt allow me
to get on with my own things till he's home safe and sound
till he is gonna go to sleep
only after that do i do my stuff and by the end of it all
its so gosh darn late!
and i hav to be up in a few hrs
me feeling so tired makes me dread going to sch
attending my classes have become a drag
and i'm tired of trying to understand
the things i do not understand..
i just feel like giving up
curling up somewhere
*sighs*
with more work piling up
and with soo many problems
with every single thing..
it just really makes me tired of thinking
thinking up solutions to every darn thing
for everyone..even for myself
i just wish i could have a break from life itself
just for awhile..
with nothing to think about
nothing to worry about..
wldnt that be nice for awhile?
just a retreat..
*sighs*
i just need to breathe and take some time off for myself..
i really do..
without the constant smses or phonecalls from everyone..
without everyone needing me
without the constant nagging of my parents
at times i need to be there just for myself too..
i dont wanna wear myself out too thin..
i used to be able to do that n yet i'll be laughing about it
but now..i just cant seem to do that anymore..
i'm not saying that having a bf or
having friends who need you is a bad thing
just that its draining being there for everyone
and you know what..though its draining
its alright..it really is..
cuz at the end of it all
being in my sweetheart's arms is the best feeling in the world
and helping out my friends and seeing them smile
and being carefree feels great
so its alright..
i guess i just stretch myself thin by doing the best i can for the ones i love..
and though its tiring..its ok.. =)
i still at least have sundays for a break
but when even that day turns out busy..
i become a complain queen as seen here..
haha..
gotta go study now..toodles.. =)
please believe me again at 6:23 PM
Y
Saturday, May 03, 2008
gosh!
i cant believe that I am soo darn busy
that i dont even have time to talk to my friends properly
that I have to dedicate posts to tell them what I wanna..
sad man! sadd!
nevermind..
i noe they understand.. =)
ohoh!! i wanna go vivo!!
spending a night up there
at that open terrace like area is awesome!
the wind! the view!
ooohh! lovelyyy! =)
okayyy..random..haha
okies..am tired of blogging..
gonna go off to study..
toodles!
please believe me again at 8:28 PM
To asal loves..
i noe it hurts when you like someone you cant get
it happened to me too
the ones who like you, you dont like and thats fine..
it happened to me too
it jus means you gotta wait a lil longer before someone looks your way
like i did..
remember this love..
dont go finding for love..
let it come and find you..
and when you do find it..
dont let go.. =)
you are really an awesome person
just that you dont let alot of ppl in..
you're afraid of getting hurt..
and thats fine..
we all deal with it differently..
everyone's different..
the way we communicate with others
and our personalities are different..
for you it takes awhile for someone
to really be able to see through to your heart
so give it time love..give it time..
till then..
just know that you are a great person
who's fun to be around with
sensitive at heart
but you try not to show it
and love..know this..
you are truly strong
for you to be able to go through what you have
has made you who you are today
so till someone is able to break through to you
be yourself
dont bother about those assholes ( you know who I am talking about)
things will look up for you
maybe the right person isnt where you are right now..
who knows maybe after you graduate you might just find someone
that someone =)
so keep smiling
and stop worrying
those assholes arent worth it to feel fucked up over
and i know you know it
but i need you to believe it..
love ya darling!! =)
please believe me again at 8:11 PM
Everything thats makes me stressed aside..
there's the sweet escape
=)
Ystday after sch met jason..
spent some time in sch
cuz i had a meeting and then had to find some damn book
n after that we went to esplanade to catch
Armchair Critic live in action!
awesomeee i tell you!
then we went up to the roof terrace!
ohh! the memories!
i love that place!
i think if there was one place i would love to spend an entire night at..
it would be esplanade..
cuz its soo near to clarke quay
and places i cant really recall the names of rt nw..haha
all the places where i have had tonns of memories at!
time spent with my darling ystday felt soo short..
even though i got home close to 11..
*sighs*
i just wish that i could live my life the way i want to sometimes
with no restrictions
noone telling me to get home ASAP
noone telling me to do this or that..
i have nvr made alot of decisions solely on my own..
but this one decision i will make on my own
and stand by it
i loveeee youuu jason!!
please believe me again at 7:52 PM
Gosh! busy busy busyy!!
Next fri need to meet up with amrit
Next sat might go out with asal
putting all that aside..
i've got work work and more work to do! arGh!
2nd yr is just plain stressful!
first yr seemed way easier than 2nd yr
but then again..it doesnt seem so bad
since my classmates are awesome fun!
Then there are those days when i am soo not in the mood to do anything
and i jus wanna curl up somewhere
but nooo..there's always work to be done..
and when i felt that way ystday
surprisingly class went well even though i got to class late
got an A..like finally!
but that means i gotta work harder..
my head hurts! BLEAGH!
oh well..
on top of that..i'm the head of the events department
for drama camp this yr..
which jus means this entire mth is gonna be hectic for me
and the head of departments arent given any assitants to help out
great! great! just great!
but its ok..cuz i've still got my frens to help me out.. =)
AND then..there's PP
stooopidd project which i am soo stressing about rt nw
jason sweetie is helping me with it
but..i dont want him to help me much with it..
i mean he is already soo tired..
i dont wanna tire him out futher
I jus really hope it gets approved
if not i jus aint gonna effing bother abt it! Grrr!
Then there are UTs coming up!
on Monday (MCB-Molecular Cell Biology)
Tuesday (MS-Material Science)
and the 12th (AP-Applied Physics)
Oh! i gotta rmb all the birthdays coming up too!
gotta get prezzies n i'm broke!
What a wonderful life! =)
please believe me again at 7:37 PM