Y
Friday, January 25, 2008
It really sucks doesnt it..
when u care
when you shouldnt even be thinking about it
i aint supposed to care
but i do
i'm not supposed to be bothered
but i am
feeling so lost about the one
who likes that girl in the red satin top
the other driving me crazy
with the smallest things he does
why cant things be clearer?
now its like an abstract piece of painting
to complex for me to break apart
and see whats beneath it all
"hush hush darling"
"time baby time"
"that is the only thing that tells all"
thats what I heard
but sometimes..
the wait..
it kills.
please believe me again at 10:29 AM
Y
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
you brought back that once forgotten laughter
you are the one and only
who can make me laugh like that
you brought those old forgotten moments
fun and laughter..
all of it..back..
INNOCENCE. BLISS.
and thats why you will now and always be my bestie!
I LOVE YOU DEAR.
MISS YOU TOO! =D
i heart keanuholic who is now also a supernaturaholic!!
who invented words like COOTIE!! (cutie + hottie)
and HOMBIE!! (hottie +zombie)
who is learning french and getting me facinated by it!!
so much so that i invented the word ZOMOTIE!!
LOL!
the only one who would tell me..
dont be sorry you used that vulgarity..
who laughs at the profanity and irony of the phrase
positively revolting! (in our context)
i love her!
and will always!
no matter the distance or time apart from each other..
no matter what people say..
no matter the tears shed..
or the laughter shared..
i know that our friendship will nvr falter! =D
THESE ARE THE MOMENTS IN LIFE WE HOPE WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US!
REMEMBERED! MISSED!
BLESSED! =D
i really wish i could put up pics of us..
but sadly i dont have them in my lappie..
lalala >.<
please believe me again at 11:31 PM
I always thought of this blog as a keepsake of memories..
I dont want to lose the memoirs of good times i've had..
actually both the good and the bad..heh!
but now I think it is time for this to become a place where i'll hear myself
Insomnia.
Insomnia:inability to fall asleep or to remain asleep long enough to feel rested, especially as a problem continuing over time .
I guess i'm addicted to it..
I shut my eyes and wake up feeling like I only shut my eyes a min ago..
Yet I dont feel a strand of exhausion..
Like a zombie yet warm..
thats the feeling of unrest i got after having rest
Contradictory.
one might say..
and true enough it is.
I just had what I felt was the longest 45 min bus ride home from sch..
and all that I thought about went of to repeatmode..
lalalala... =D
Scratch this..
Scratch that..
Hell..jus scratch all of it..
like the pages of a book torn from its bindings..
forget it all..
throw it all away..
AND
remember nothing..
hearing silence
but its not deafening
cuz your heart,mind and soul is speaking to you
you're all alone..
no one you know is around you..
you're set apart from the rest in you mind..
yet you feel contented..
listening to that voice..
its yours..
and it talking to you drowning out that lonliness you feel inside..
yes..its drowning out that same lonliness you feel
when you are surrounded with people
who wear those masks to hide their true selves..
was is it that they are hiding when a smile curves their lips?
or when their lips curve down to a frown?
or when their eyes are blank with millions of things running through their mind?
they dont want to share..
they become selfish..
lost in themselves..
they have forgotten how they once were..
why should i care?
why should anyone care?
leave it..
dont bother..
its not worth it..
you deserve to feel way better than jus that..
yes..you do..
Sometimes I think..
if i threw away my phone, my computer, my laptop, my television..
stripped off of all means of communication..
would I be able to acheive that tranquility which I seek..
The answer: NO.
your free-flowing thoughts,emotions and everything..
its alwaes there..nvr leaving you..
to a point where it sometimes overwhlems you..
to a state of exhaustion
and all you want to do is look at the clouds in the sky pass or..
maybe feel the chill of the wind
while raindrops tease you hair and trickle down your face
or maybe feel the searing heat of the sun
as you walk along the seaside cooling your feet..
sinking it deeper in the muddling waters..
you jus want to feel the peace and quiet of life
the tranquility of life that is now easily lost
but difficult to be found..
but what if you had that one friend who made you feel at peace with yourself..
well..once you've felt that..
that feeling becomes an addiction..
one you cannot get an overload of.
honestly. AMAZING. BLIZZZ! ha!
i need to make choices and decisions now..
honestly its easy to walk away from something
rather than fixing something thats already broken..
yet..here i stand not knowing what to do..
cuz its easier said than done to follow your heart..
Ethics..we all have them..
it questions our morality
no one helps tell you where to draw the line
of what is right or wrong..
cuz when it comes to ethics..
sometimes a personal conflict arises
within oneself
when one is told to do something
and their heart says its wrong..
what is right and what is wrong?
who's to say who's to draw the line?
its everchanging in the world we live in today..
but you..
YOU are the only on who ever draws the line..
the rest is up to other's perception..aint it..
dont judge and their boundaries drawn would seem right to you too..
JUDGE and you might just discover a part of yourself
a part you wished not to see.....
then again if your judgement is good..
trust it..
it cant be all that bad..
and thats the end of that.
maybe at least for now..I might have a good night's sleep! weeee!
=D
please believe me again at 6:52 PM