Y
Monday, October 29, 2007
well talking/chatting with dhana these past few days
have been great
it made me reminisence
think abt alot of things..
about people, friends, life..
when i think about it..
some things hurt me..
my mistakes..
my choices..
my regrets..
but u shldnt regret..
if not u wont be happy..
yet its difficult..
friends..
they were once so close to you and now are so far away
you wonder if they even remeber you..
you send a sms..no reply..
people you once knew..
reply back with a who are u?
sad but true..
we no longer treasure those who were once dear to us..
who were once there for us..
why have we people become so selfish?
thinking about only ourselves?
when was it the last time you thought about someone else?
and been there for that person no matter what..
true that you cannot be at all places at once..
but you can still try to lend a ear..
would it kill us to do so even if our lives slowly become more demanding and busy?
NO..it wouldnt..
when life was so simple before..
people..strangers..who became our friends helped us get thru the days..
now as we grow up..
they change...and everyone's different..
but does anyone try to maintain the bond they once shared?
even if one person does and the other doesnt..what's the point?
it takes two hands to clap..
what has become of those friends of ours..
so busy with life that now they themselves are like strangers to us..
and the ones we expect least to remember us do..
how strangee...
relationships..
we share them with many..
strangers..our friends..our family..our beloveds..
each are different..
but they have all caused hurt in our lifes at point or another..
its never gonna stop..
when are we gonna get used to it?
well..i guess never..
but no matter how hard it gets..
we all try to make it work out in the end..
if we feel that there is hope that the relationship could be better..
Now hope..
hope and faith..
now i know those two are funny characters in the show..
but thats not what i'm gonna touch on..
hope and faith work hand in hand..
as long as you dont lose hope and faith in yourself..
and trust yourself..
no matter what happens..
you will be able to pick yourself up again and again..
even if you have fallen again and again..
nothing precedes the importance of loving yourself..
you may give up on anything..
but never ever give up on yourself..
cuz if you give up on yourself..
then noone else is gonna have hope,faith or trust in you
you are the only person who can be there for yourself 24/7
no matter what anyone else says..
that is the pure bitter truth..
believe it..
I should lighten up!
live my life!
take what may come!
cry if need be!
but be back on my two feet standing as tall as ever!
what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger! =)
please believe me again at 1:17 AM
Y
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I dont wanna cry anymore!
I just dont!!
Cant someone make this pain go away??
I cant stand this!
I hate you!
why is it that i like you!
and why is it that even when everything is over..
i cant get over you?!
go away!!
:(
I wanna smile!
I wanna be happy!
I sound like a lil kid throwing a tantrum..
oh well..
forget it!
I am gonna be happy..
No more emo sari..
wheeee! =)
please believe me again at 1:31 AM
Y
Saturday, October 27, 2007
This whole week went by in a blur!
Been busy busy busy!
Monday cut class, ate at subway, went to Geetha's hse
played truth or dare!
had fun fun fun!
Had rehearsals on Tuesday
and on Wednesday was a dull and boring day
but hanging out with Shamini and then..
meeting Letchu and Deepan after such a long time..
made the day a whole lot better! =)
On Thursday rehearsals got cancelled!
Was kinda pissed off at that!
But I had a good time
with a last minute meetup with Thasha and Dhana!
Thasha is the cutest!!
And ASAL! you are the hottest babe to me!
On Friday attended a talk,
Amir is such a skate fanatic!
attended Benny's show which was hell awesome!
and hung out with Dhana again!
Did my RJ for once with the pestering of Dhana of course!
he is sucha sweety!
These past few days I have realised that everyone is changing!
It kinda sucks that my bestie isnt there for me anymore
and the drama peeps arent at all as close as before
everyone's different
hanging out with others
where's the bond all of us once shared?
where's the love?
what happened?
we all changed and we all have to move on..
=)
please believe me again at 10:16 PM
Y
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Yo yo....
I'm kinda bored so I'm trynna drop some rhymes
Where's da Ms.Kitten she goes missing at times
Finish up ur work fast hurry up the time flies
If ya free do battle me just drop punch lines...
U caught me in a spell I guess
i can't run away now
My desktop is an utter mess
please don't ask me how
Is that a smile again in ur face
whoa that's so wow!
second four lines
i end right here
so I'ma take ma first bow
Why keeping so silent just type ur thoughts flow
Once u start writing the first few words you'll get more
If you're buzy and need to do your work just tell me i shall go
I donno why i feel so bored but the day's so dull from dawn
Okie i'm done now the faci is here
but will continue to chat with you
I know whatcha thinking i may be the crapiest guy u'd ever knew
I can keep ya company if ya want
till u finish ya class very soon
I'll finish ma crapy line all here and give u nudge with a peek-a-boo
aint it cute?? hehexz!
it just makes my day at times..
and of course the person who wrote it..=)
please believe me again at 4:13 PM
Like the wind I will creep in
To the scented chamber u sleep in
caress you head down to the toes
and kiss you behind the closed doors
tickle ur feet but u wouldn't wake up
stare at ur facial beauty no make up
whisper to ur ears a sweet lullaby
and make u dream behind those eyes
I can do more things that u wouldn't guess
To give u a good sleep but nothing else....
I love this poem! whoOtS! hahaxz..
total randomness!! =)
please believe me again at 10:48 AM
Y
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
So I havnt been blogging in awhile..
Its cuz i jus get too worn out
by thinking too much these past few days..
I dont mean to..
*sighs*
I took a nice long walk back home today
while clearing up my thoughts
I have come to realise
noone is ever really truly the way they are on the outside..
They play a character that is not truly themselves..
they hide their real selves
just so that noone would see the ugly side of them
but when it finally gets revealed..
who's to blame when people start disliking you
word spreads and knowing what you are like now,
would people really see you the same way as before??
here's the answer: NO!
but here's my answer: I'll still try..
you are noone to me..
I do not bother about you
but what you do say to my frens..
that i really care about..
ok..let's forget that..
all of you tease me..
I would say its really not much..
you tease me about things
which are personal to me infront of guys
just where are your brains?
you think i like it?
I dont!
And I certainly do not appreciate the fact
that you told the person i care most about..
about this incident..
how embarassing would it have been for me?..
have you ever thought about that?..
I'm fine with certain people(my frens) teasing me..
But I DO NOT KNOW YOU!
what right have you got to talk to me like that?
and on top of that talk about such things
infront of people I BARELY KNOW?
you make me sick!
ok..now about other things..
things between me and him
are like so wadever..
I hate it!!
I miss him..but i cant let him know it
I like him..but i cant let him know that either
oh wad a curse this is..
Mahesh asked me to go out with him
but I jus couldnt
The more I thought about it the more restless i got..
I dunno why..
I dunno why I suddenly would zone out in class
I dunno why I would suddenly cry when I'm alone
I dunno why I suddenly would be firm or snap at people..
I dont mean any of it..
It just happens..
I dont feel right..
Its happening all over again
as I get reminded of everything
I can never let go of my past as it is what has made me who i am today..
my past makes me realise my mistakes
I dont wanna do the same mistakes again
but i do..
I dont mean to..
but circumstances and emptiness leads to such..
"OoH sexy mama...."
you once said you were singing it to me..
I got reminded of someone else..
I'm over you..
But now as I think about it..
Am I really over you?
I keep thinking about you
and I wish..
I wish soo hard that I would forget everything that you did..
everything that you said..
"Cause you're so damn easy"
Am I??
I dont think I am..
but why do some people think I am?
I hate it when guys look at me that way..
just despise it!
argh!
But it happens to me all the time..
I'm so used to it now..
I barely bother about it these days..
now lets talk about looks..
beauty is transient.
so why is it then when I dont make myself look nice with make-up..
people look at me differently..
and when I look good with make-up i get people wanting to get to know me?
can't they just like me for who I am..
with or without make-up??
lastly i scratch..
i shouldnt but i do..
haizz..
i'm sorry..
i'm flawed in many ways..
but i am me..
and that's something noone else can be. =)
Should I just forget about everything?
Am slowly losing hope..
Its ok..
be strong sari
going with the flow is the hardest to do
when i like you so much..
its ok..I noe i will get thru this.. =)
please believe me again at 10:21 PM
Y
Sunday, October 07, 2007
"we are like two crazy little gals!"
yeah..what thasha said is true
we hope things are different
that things would go how we want them to
so reality crashes in is now over
it was a good experience and
everyone who were part of it
i thank you! =)
well things happen unexplained and unintentionally
but its alright
i know i can always count on my friends
to help me suppress those feelings
and forget those memories
now thinking about my friends..
its strange that i don't hang out with the drama peeps anymore
it kinda feels weird
but now with geetha in my class
shana,geetha,shalini,linisha,thasha,shamini,ambi are all the love!
yeah we had loads of misunderstandings
but with one day of skipping school and hanging out
we solved it all with a lil chitchat..=)
i miss my bestie
havnt spoken to her in ages
and i miss my MI babe!
its true what they say..
friends come and go
but there still will be those
who will always hold a special place in your heart!
hearts..they can be broken
and with a lil help can be mended again
it is hell difficult
but its only when you bleed
you feel alive
and someone once told me
it is only when you love a person
would you cry cuz of that person
its true what he said
now,
i cannot really be bothered
cuz i know myself too well
and i know that i'm not strong right now
but i find myself in the same position i was in before
it makes me happy yet making me sad..
it keeps me holding on..
to hope..
that things will be better..
so I went to aarathana
it was my first time and the best!
puvan is so cute!
he is so damn funny!
especially when he said he would move
so as to not be seated in between varman and i! LOL!
a certain someone said i looked "sooper"
thats all i needed! =)
it was all thanks to shana's red silky top!
but he was having a headache
and looked so tired by the end of the night..sadly..
dinesh another one
keeps on teasing me!
but its fun! LOL!
and..aNd..AND..
we won!!
the challenge throphy is OURS now baby!
i am soo happy!! =)
went to MACs of all places later
to celebrate indrani's b'dae
and our victory
then found out someone wants to get to know me??
why?!! arghh!! i hate this!
i know i sound irritated and pissed off by this..
but reall i'm not..
its just that i'm totally not interested
nor am i bothered..
oh well..i cant do anything can i..
just go with the flow?..*shrugs*
Later i would be going shopping for hari raya clothes..
Am gonna ask my mum if
i can invite my frens over for raya..=)
Hope she says yes!
then if possible..
(crosses fingers) i'll ask him to come as well!
then..(double crosses fingers) hope he'll come! =)
Its slowly fading away..
that feeling..
its like no longer a crush for me..
it feels like a little more than that at times
like we are more than just friends
and at other times it feels like its lesser than a crush
that we are nothing but just friends
i dont know how he feels about me..
and how i wish i knew..=)
please believe me again at 12:57 AM