Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Monday, May 05, 2008

my fears
they keep me awake at night sometimes
and i cant seem to fall asleep
tell me it wont ever happen
tell me everything will go back to the way they once were

recently, i had a dream
i dreamt of sweetheart!
but that dream turned from good to bad
it became a nightmare
why?
cuz..i dreamt of my dear friend amrit
she was telling me to get the hell outta her life
cuz i am never there when she needed me..
that was the worse feeling i ever felt..
i couldnt continue sleeping after that..
who would be able to?

i woke up and texted her saying i missed her
i would call her jus that i cant really talk with
the condition of my sore throat..
and the day after she replied
we chatted on msn and i told her to never feel that way
cuz i am always here for her
even though i aint literally
i'll always make time for her
and all my other friends n loves..
of course my sweetheart..

its just one of biggest fears
-someone i once knew with all my heart
changing to someone i barely know now
(it happened with my bestie and a few others but its ok.. =))
-someone i once thought i didnt really know
to spending so much time with them
and suddenly not being able to
and so them telling me that i'm not a worthy enough friend
(hasnt happened and i wish it to never happen)
-someone forgetting me cuz i wasnt there in their lifes for the longest time
and they thought i moved on without them
(this has happened in some sense..but it was all a misunderstanding
and it got cleared up =))
-neglecting someone/something without meaning to
(in some ways this has happened too..but thank god i have understanding
people around me..weee! )

of course there are many more fears that i have but..
for now..
lets just leave it at this..

i love all you people even though i may not be there all the time
for you guys..i'll try..you know i will =)

please believe me again at 9:52 AM