Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Monday, February 11, 2008

[my random ramblingsssss]

so the air's finally cleared up!

the one who has a memory of me in that red satin top
told me he's ready for a relationship
and i dunno wadever did i do to make him think i like him as anything more than a fren..
personally i find him gross..
but wadever..
i said i'm not ready for a relationship
be it him or anyone else..
n its over..
he's quit the cold shoulder he gave me
n we're frens again!

i guess people change
situations change too

neeraj has been an awesome fren!
its been great talking to him all these past few mths
n we finally met proper!
i went over to his place
saying to my parents that I had a drama meeting!
drama is the ULTIMATE excuse!
hahaha

anyway..finally the one who makes me go red in the ears started talking
told me abt his ex
and his band..or at least the one he used to be in
he's soo into metal
something which i have to get used to
n PARAMORE!
i love that band really!
think they'll be awesome someday!

someone new likes me n its obvious..
but asking me out after one convo..
thats CRAZY fast!
so im gonna say no..
till i feel its right. =)

and..then today..
chatted with someone new
n he's really good at putting a smile on my face..
noone else seems to be able to lately..
after a day of convo..
asks me out?
its DEAD fast too!
i dunno wad to do now..
lalalala

there's so much angst in me!
i'm soo pissed at my parents for not allowing me to go to that CNY party
with nat and her two younger twin sisters!
i really feel like i have a social life which i'm not enitled to just because of my parents.
i have done everything they wanted..
wad more now?! it just really really angers me!
and to top it all off..

i miss nat loads n i miss her sisters too!
i miss marie
i miss asal
i miss fifa
i miss amrit even though i met her last week!
n i miss priya!!!
ah damn! someone should just rip my heart out!

i dunno why..
but these past few days..
there's soo much anger in me!
i could just explode!
but i end up tearing up instead.
i guess its back again to those times where anger turns to tears.
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okay..now i feel like writing a story. (BE WARNED! it might be harmful to the eyes!)

so there was once this pauper and this princess..
they met randomly in the hi tech of times on the internet
chatted they did but only once for an entire day
the pauper knows that he is not all that princess might be looking for
and the princess knowing that though however penniless the pauper is..
the pauper still brings a smile upon her face

now the pauper asked her out to hang out
n the princess is afraid
afraid that the pauper might see how happy he makes the lil princess
and the pauper might not be here to stay

however afraid she was..
she accepts the proposal to go out
but her parents..
the royal pain in the butt
king n queen might not let her go
unless she lies...
the prince..her bro doesnt make things easier on her either
telling her parents that she would be back in the palace only after dark
something which isnt true..

oh wadever is this princess to do?
the pauper has said to her not to reveal her cellphone number to him
unless the princess is able to meet him
she wants oh-so-badly to see the pauper in all his ragged glory
but will it happen??..
would she lie??..
if the princess does..wadever will she say??
if she makes it out of the palace
will her fear bring her down??

so many what ifs and if onlys are running thru the princess's mind..

and the story will not have a end to it just yet..
will this story be an epic tale of love and tradegy?
guess we'll all have to stick around to find out! =D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and now boredom kicks in again!

guess i'll always be a lil kid
always not knowing what to do
but i'll somehow figure it out one way or another
i'll make mistakes n learn from it n i'll move on
but why does the first stay in my mind?
who is he afterall
if not but just a memory?
sometimes im just a mess i swear!
will someone come my way
and be able to withstand all that i throw at him
for all the pain and hurt and angst i have in me?
will they be able to turn it into something less sinister
and make me whole again.
i can just about dream about it! =D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"i'll take that broken heart of urs
thats filled with so much pain and guilt and hurt and angst
everything..just give it all to me
and i'll give u a heart thats filled with love and nothing else
and our hearts could beat as one
all i ask is for you to take it
and i expect nth in return"

sweet words that are just empty
is just as bad as hMm..idk..lol!

my head is just blank right now!
and i wanna sleep!

more random ramblings some other day maybe aye.. =)

please believe me again at 8:40 PM