Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Was on cloud 9 today
Isk made me smile and laugh so much today.
Best part was when I went down to buy food with isk and shi hui
and I realised I left my wallet in class
now i owe isk mulahh for my food..LOL

Now if you are wondering why I said I WAS on cloud 9 today..
its cuz i was at some event wif shana and geetha and tia(a new fren made today)
after school..
and when i turned around i saw him and her together.
Both smiling.
Both laughing.
Shana and geetha were trying to make me feel better.
Saying that he doesnt look good. and all that..
Shana even mispronounces her name. Its by accident i swear.
but seeing them like that was another stab to my heart.
I dont know why he is doing this to me.
He knows it kills me.
But he doesnt care.
Its like he loves to see me cry..suffer.
Its like every time I tear when I see them together..
Is another triumpth for him.
And now i feel vengenence.
Not a good thing.

Asal love still thinks i'm angry with her
when i'm angry with myself cuz of him.
I feel stupid and dumb which i know i am at times.
Like now.
Feeling sad about this kinda stupid stuff.
But still..it hurts.

One thing to look forward to..
Jess darlings b'dae is coming up in october
and she is inviting people to go eat with her at new york new york.

He said he'll bring me there
He said he'll bring me to Chomp Chomp as well.
His words were lies.
Broken promises.
Things I live without.

I'm gonna go to new york new york and i will have fun that day.
whenever that day will be.
=))

Oh..joel asked me out again..
nice nice..
to a movie..
hopefully we'll be able to go on fridae..
and i'll skip drama if need be..
I need to get away from it all..

I just slept and woke up and its midnight nw..
dreamt about people being killed by some crazy mad cat..
see what has Isk made me do now..
dream about his beloved cats.
And i was running away from it.
LOL

found out Jess dear emo-ed today
if only i had known i would have been there for her
I emo-ed too after school..
on the bus ride back home.
I need a slap.
A snap back into reality.
away from memories.
sweet memories.
the bittersweet ones are the love.

talked to jess and buanana jus now..
jess made me feel better..
and buanana is cute..
Reminded me of how great my classmates are too..
I love my class..
I went to Budi's blog
saw our latest class pics..
we look soo close..
its almost sad..
Oh..am getting sicker too.
nice!
i need a break!

and now its time to do my rj
before some shuteye.
=))

please believe me again at 8:51 PM