Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Monday, August 13, 2007

Alrite..So I since Shalini got me the ticket for the NUS show..
I went..It cost 16bucks..So now I'm broke again..
Geetha,Sha(Shalini) and Shana were all supposed to go to Beebee's chalet after the show..
But..Since Geetha wasnt allowed to go
Sha wasnt allowed to go..you see they are cousins..so yea..
Shana was supposed to be able to go..
But..her parents were gonna be back by 1am or 2am from M'sia..
so she couldn't go with me either..=(

The show was quite good I'd say..
Saw Dhinesh and Karthik aft the show..
Its been like GaZziLioN years since i've seen Dhinesh man..
And so..I asked them if they could just accompany me to the MRT station..
Cuz I have no idea how to get to the place..
and I'm all alone..
They couldn't make it either..
So..I was a lone ranger for the night..=))

I went to Tampanies MRT..
and realised that I missed the last bus down to the chalet..
So caught a cab and went down..
It was then that I realised..
There is no place like home..
No matter what..even in your sadness and in your triumph..
Home is still the place you want to go back to..

When I got there..
Nigel was passed out from drinking too much..
But I was welcomed pretty warmly by his parents..
Scary actually..but it was alrite..
His mom introed me to his dad,his godparents,his siblings, cousins, friends and all..
And his mom fixed me up a drink of vodka and lime..
and even served me food..(briyani,beehoon,mutton, chicken, prawns)..
But I wasnt really in a social mood..
Still..I managed to mingle..=))

Some of his family members thought I was his girlfriend..LOL
And then I found out he got attached
to this gal called Marisher(hope I spelt her name right)
Then I understood why he didnt reply back to some of my smses..*siGhs*..
The disappointment..the sadness..Oh..another heartbreak..
Why must heartbreaks come all in a row??

Nigel got up soon enough..
He said I was late and I apologised..
He didnt expect me to come..But I did..
We finally got Nigel off his bed and dragged him down to the dance floor..
Everyone danced..it was dead FUN!!
LOL! I havnt danced like that in quite awhile..
People were kinda pleasantly surprised..hahaxz..
Even Nigel was..He came up to me after he danced..
and he said..
"I see you dancing the whole time ah.."
and he held my hip when he was telling me that..
wHoOtS! Jus that alone made me happy..hahaxz..
I miss him soo much la..dammit..
But things cant be like how they were like before..
*sighs*

Lionel(Nigel's cousin) was nicee..kinda being with me most of the time..
I think Lesly's HOTT like FARK!! he is dark..but OH-SO-DAMN-GORGEOUS!
And if you are wondering who Lesly is..Its Lionel's younger bro..
As the night wore on..I found out that Lionel is from RP..third yr..New Media..
Two of Nigel's chinese frens..who i've forgotten the name of are also from RP..
They asked me if I knew Mya..the burmese chinese..LOL
When they said that..
it got me reminded of her famous phrase
"Hi! I'm Mya! And I'm Burmese Chinese!" LOL..
Its a really small world afterall I guess..

I danced with Nigel's mom and dad as well..
It was weird..LOL
but fun..
I chatted with Vanessa..another one of Nigel's cousin..
who I think is absolutely GORGEOUS! even though she is dark..
and I learnt alot about relationships..

I was pretty distracted the whole time..
with smses from my frens..and with Dhinesh smsing me till 5am
jus to make sure i'll be fine there..
such sweethearts!

Then I found out that Nigel still smokes..
Yet another disappointment??
Oh well..its alrite..

Vanessa wanted to go smoke..I decided to follow them..
Nigel knew I dont smoke..
But I wanted to give it a try..
So he let Vanessa and I share a cig..
I learnt how to smoke..
and I learnt what it was to be a social smoker..
After all that I learnt how to get rid of the smell
from your mouth too..
You gotta spit..LOL!
and you gotta eat mints or smth..
Shawn(Nigel's fren/cousin) gave me one..
And I think he's pretty cute too..hahaxz

Dammit! Nigel's frens and cousins and all..are all pretty DARN good looking..hahaxz

Then Nigel realised that me and Vanessa were quite close..
He came over..and spoke to us for abit..
He still remembers everything I ever told him..
From the Melvin incident to everything!
Even how we first met and when the last time we met was..
Oh.GoOdnesS! It made me smile..hahaxz..
and then we started talking about gals kissing gals and all..

Somehow..Nigel ended up asking me if I would mind if he kissed my cheek..
I said I wouldnt..and so he did that..
And then a few mins later..
Nigel ended up asking me if it would be fine if he kissed me on my lips..
I was soo hesitant..but hey..he was the b'dae boy..
So I told him that it'll be his b'dae present..hahaxz..
Kisses dont lie..LOL!

GosH! A night to remember!!

Nigel wanted me to drink..
But I didnt want to..
Yet I drank at 5 in the morning!
Martell and coke mixed at times
and at other times..Just Martell alone..
It was nicee..drinking..
Got kinda high..hahaxz..
Felt nicee..

Then Nigel wanted to ride this motorbike..
I think its his uncle's bike or smth..
It was all metalic shiny blue..GORGEOUS!!
I wanted to ride the bike too..
So he tompanged nearly all of us!
It was damn nicee to ride the bike with him!!

Oh..HEAVEN!!
The wind blowing back your hair..
The rush of it all making you forget your worries..
Me holding him tight cuz I was afraid..
Reminding me of the feeling I felt which I thought was lost forever..
No..it isnt love..
It was happiness..=)
BliSs!

We went to the beach after slacking and resting abit..
Walked all the way till Changi Village..1.2km..
Ate breakfast..well actually I just drank Milo..
Nigel wanted to blanjah me food..But I didnt feel like eating..
So yea..Chilled out for abit after..
Then walked all the way back..another 1.2km..hahaxz..
It was here that I realised..
Things cant really be fixed anymore..
What was lost is lost and gone forever..
I'm never gonna get it back..
I gotta move on..
ALL the way..and Not ever looking back again..

I felt soo alone right then..
I really wished that my frens were there..
They are the reason I can breathe again..

The day wore on..
I got sprayed with the stringyy thingyy
which comes out of the can..LOL
I was all dirty and icky..
So took a bath..
They decided to go swimming..
I couldnt go sadly cuz I was "sick" as Isk puts it..LOL!
which suckss soo badd!!

They were having soo muchhh FUN!!
All I could do is drown my lonely thoughts into their happiness..
I took a few pics wif my hp..but they arent so clear..
Finally went back to the chalet with Vanessa..

After awhile..most of them came back..To take a bathe and change..
Nigel looks really good in semi-formal wear..
Then I told him that i'm leaving..
and he insisted that I call a cab and that he pay for my cab fair..
He's a dear at times..hehexz..

Went home..Slept..
What a night! =))

I've actually got soo much more to say..
But I rather keep them as my memories..=))

please believe me again at 12:34 AM