Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
Friday, February 02, 2007

i haven't been updating for ages..
Aniwaes..so many things have happened since my last post..

i thought Desmond(the security guard)
is soo irritating sending me smses n calling me n all..
but i realise he is quite a mature guy for his age..
n he understands when i tell him things as they are..
N he means no trouble for me..So he has stopped msging me n calling me..
I talked to him todae n he is quite an ok guy..
he is just really friendly..thats all..

Melvin was getting transfered to robinsons at centrepoint..on the 1st feb
N i was like the saddest person on earth on that night he was leaving..
the day before that..i can't believe i actually asked his number..
N i got it..n he called me the next dae at 5.30 in the morning..jus to disturb me..LOL
HE CAME BACK though..he said he'll be working one more month in vivo..YAY!!!
he's fun..he likes to have fun..thats wad i've learnt from being around him..

So cuz of that i dun really care wad he does anymore..
whether its coughing to get my attention..those weird handshakes
or those peace out signs or those banging of fists thingy..or those high/low 5s..
OR even wad he did todae which was to whistle at me..LOL
he whistled n i ignored..n when he whistled again..
i looked back at him..n he gave me THAT look..
which just made me give him a quick smile..
i was supposed to give him a coy smile..but i cldn't really be bothered..hahaxz..

The other dae i was stuck in the lift with this guy..i think he's gay..but i'm not too sure..
N that guy started talking to me..he's friendly n nicee..n he speaks chinese..but he looks malay..aniwaes..he's not bad looking..n todae i finally found out that his name was Joseph

Oh..this guy working at playlab..name's Julian..got his galfren this humongous teddy bear..
ITS SOOO CUTTTEEE N ADORABLE N HUGEEE
N I ABSOLUTELY LUV IT!!
N EVERYONE THERE WERE ALL HUGGING IT!!..i tell u..he's soo SWEET!!!
the bear costs 200 bucks..but he still bought it anywae,,DAMN SWEET can..haizz..

Later todae some tv presenter/news reporter Cheryl Fox came down
n started getting clothes from all over TANGS n me N this other salesgirl..
we call her SKY..n this gay guy who works at TANG and CO+ were all serving her..
n Joseph..purposely disturb me when i was going into the TANG and CO+
fitting room to serve her..he kept on coming to me n saying
"hey..why u keep on coming here..this is TANG n CO+ u noe.."N
i ignored him the first few times..then when he did it the 3rd time..
when he went like hey..n i was like..YESSS...n he jus smiled n
didn't say anything..LOL..
cute la he..LOL..disturb me only..
Then i was running up and down
from the ladies department to the men's department
n Joseph was like..whoa..running also got style ah..
n i jus turned to him and gave him a look..n smiled..
i jus see his face n i wanna smile alrd..dunno why also..
whenever he disturbs me ah..he looks soo cute..LOL..

Aniwaes..the gay guy was like telling me he's so stressed n all..
N i was like half the time telling him to relax n all..AND
i helped him out taking a new piece of garment from the storeroom
for Cheryl Fox when he was like.."I'm soo stressed..I need to have sex"..
N i was like..wth..N i wanted to tell him..why don't u go n get some?..LOL
N Cheryl Fox is really sweeet!!! She called me a "sweetie"..LOL..
She's really pretty in person but she's kinda short..BUT her english is DAMN good..
N her accent/tone of voice is really strong..its nicee hearing her talk..LOL
N when i told this to that gay guy..he was like telling me that
it sounds like i'm having a wet dream when i talk abt her..
N i was like..wad?..hello..n he went like..wHoOps..N i jus laughed it off..LOL..

After I served Cheryl Fox n she left to get a drink from coffee bean..
I ran back to my counter..N the rubber from my stupid heels came off on my way to work..
so.. my shoes made ALOT of noise until Desmond saw me running..
n then when he saw me again..he was telling me that i run quite fast..LOL..
N when I went back to my counter i saw Melvin..
so I jus went up to him n told him my feet is killing me..
N he jus was doing wadever he was doing n opened up his drawer
n saw a sweet n gave it to me..n then he started
talking to his fren n walked away..
n i walked away to my store cuz it was HELL messy n i was really tired..

Oh..N Anthony another one..he ah..wad is he doing man..everytime he
walks past my counter..he'll try and walk past me n talk to me..
I never fail to get attention from him..even when i don't mean to..haizz..

N the CD at TANGS is SPOILT..THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT!!!! LOL..
So..they are playing really goood POP/ROCK/HIP HOP/RnB kinda music these days..
THE kinda music I love listening to..LOL..I hope the damn CD is spoilt FOREVER..LOL..

So lately..i've been feeling really unappreciated by certain people..frens of mine
..but at work..
I feel much better..cuz at least people acknowledge the fact
that i exsist n like disturbing me..N actually ask me when will I be able to see u again..
which gives u a really nicee feeling..its like u're wanted..

U noe..jus cuz u guys have gone for your first 3 mths
JC doesn't mean that u should jus stop talking to me properly..
or even stop meeting up wif me..

JC is stressful..YES..I AGREE..but that doesn't mean u shld jus ignore
what i have to say..Can't u At least reply me when i ask u smth..
but u never do..or at least tell me smth when i tell u smth..
which u never do anymore..ALL u do everytime is msg me saying
u MISS ME..SO WAD if u miss me..i dun see ur words put to action..
I see other people putting in effort to see me..n spend time wif me..
but they aren't even close to me..the thing that HURTS me the most is
that the ones who are closest to me..are now the furtherest from me..
NOT knowing anything abt me anymore..my life is not filled wif my closest
frens anymore..N there's this void..it makes me angry n SAD that u guys
aren't there when i need U..but u msg me n ask me "where are U?"..
expecting me to be there whenever U need me..guess wad..
if u can't be there when i need U..i can't be there when U need me either..
I rather be wif people who enjoy my company N is there for me..when i need sumone..
who are actually people at work..they are there for me more than my closest frens are..
ITS A SAD REALITY..N i try to DROWN it ALL out by tryin to have fun at work..
BUT sumtimes it gets difficult..N now i'm tired of asking..I'm just leaving the options open..

I think the only people who have truly made an effort to see me n hang out wif me
are the sweetest..namely..Amrit..Mahes N Amanda..Even seeing Anastasia
the other day was such a sweet surprise..
N I owe Amrit alot..She has been thru alot wif me..
She might be flawed in many ways like many people..
BUT at least she calls me every week jus to see how i'm dg..
which is enough for me..Its jus the thought that counts..
When i'm working i realised this:Even an hr of seeing ur fren
means ALOT then not seeing them at ALL..
N jus that act can make me feel happy for DAYS! Or even a call has the same effect..
BUT U never do that..N it kills me inside..i guess i'll get over it soon enough..
There's soo much more worse things in life that i gotta deal with than this rt now..

Ever since i started working..I have been getting soo many comments on how good I look..
which makes me feel good whenever i got to work..I guess i'm getting used to getting disturbed..LOL..

N i'm in a shopping MOOD!!!!!
I wanna go SHOPPING TMR! I DUN CARE!!!! LOL

N right now..there are only two songs playing in my head..
reminding me of everything i wanna forget..
CHERISH: UNAPPRECIATED
RAGHAV:LET'S WORK IT OUT

I wish they'd stop playing in my head alrd..LOL..
N i CAN'T WAIT to see AMRIT tomorrow..I MISS HER!!! =))

I'll be cherishing every moment with U til u're gone..
N i hope u will too..

please believe me again at 10:37 PM